Who Are You Without the Title?

For years the title came first in every greeting. Minister. Ambassador. Chief executive. Then one day it is gone, and six weeks later the phone is quiet. The question that follows is rarely asked aloud: who am I now?

Why some people cope and others do not

In 1987 the psychologist Patricia Linville proposed an idea she called self-complexity. People who define themselves through many distinct roles and interests seem to be buffered against stress: when one part of life fails, the others hold. People whose identity rests mainly on one role have more at stake when that role ends.

Senior careers tend to reduce self-complexity. The role absorbs evenings, weekends, friendships and conversation. Over the years it becomes less something a person does and more something a person is. That is part of what makes high performers effective, and part of what makes their exits hard.

Three things that leave with the title

• Structure: the diary, the team and the meetings that decided where you were every hour.
• Status: the attention, the access and the deference that stopped being noticeable because they were always there.
• Story: the easy answer to the question what do you do, which for years was also the answer to who you are.

Becoming an ex

Research on role transitions, from Helen Ebaugh's studies of people leaving defining roles to Blake Ashforth's work in organisations, describes exit as a process rather than an event. It begins before the last day and continues long after it. The people who struggle most are often those who treated the exit as a date in the diary.

Questions worth sitting with

• If your title disappeared from your email signature tomorrow, how would you introduce yourself?
• Which parts of you have been on hold for the length of this role?
• Who knows you well enough to tell you the truth once you no longer have power over them?
• What are you afraid people will think when they see you without the title?

The same questions apply to ministers and members of parliament leaving office, chief executives and board members stepping down, diplomats returning from a posting, and founders after a sale.

Sources: Linville, P. W. (1987), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; Ebaugh, H. R. F. (1988), Becoming an Ex, University of Chicago Press; Ashforth, B. E. (2001), Role Transitions in Organizational Life, Lawrence Erlbaum.

These ideas are developed in Michele's book Leadership Coaching with Horses: The Power of Psychometrics and Biofeedback (Routledge, 2025).

If this is familiar, write to Michele's office in confidence: info@nature-motivation.com. Every enquiry is read by Michele.